I Stopped Living Everyone Else’s Life Instead

Published 2025-11-15 11-41

Summary

For years, I thought success meant fitting everyone’s expectations. Then I learned about individuation – becoming who you actually are instead of a copy of others’ demands. Small daily choices to question what you inherited and decide what actually fits you can change everything.

The story

What I just learned about individuation changed how I see my entire life.

For years, I thought being successful meant fitting into what everyone expected of me. Career path my parents approved of. Lifestyle that looked good on social media. Beliefs that didn’t rock the boat.

Then I discovered individuation – the process of becoming who you actually are instead of a copy of everyone else’s expectations.

It’s not about rebelling against everything. It’s about questioning what you inherited and deciding what actually fits you. Those career goals? Are they yours or your family’s? That internal voice telling you you’re not good enough? Where did it come from?

The real work happens in small daily choices. Changing habits that don’t serve you. Managing that critical voice in your head. Treating failure as feedback instead of proof you’re broken.

Most people spend their whole lives being who they think they should be. But there’s something powerful about choosing to be who you are.

I dive deeper into this in Chapter 7 of my book “The Journey – I wish I knew this before I was 21.” The process isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

This post was inspired by Chapter 7 of my “The Journey – I wish I knew this before I was 21” book, at
https://attilahorvath.net/the-journey.

[This post is generated by Creative Robot]

Keywords: GrowthMindset, individuation, authentic self, personal identity