I Spent 25 Years Being Someone Else

Published 2025-12-04 07-37

Summary

School taught me to perform, not to become myself. Individuation means deleting everyone else’s script and writing your own—before you spend decades as someone you’re not.

The story

What I learned [way too late]:

School trained me to be a well-behaved product, not a human.

Get good grades. Get a “stable job.” Climb the ladder. Try not to notice you’re slowly ghosting your own soul in the process.

Here’s what finally clicked for me, and what I write about in Chapters 1–2 of *The Journey – I wish I knew this before I was 21*:

– Individuation is not rebellion for rebellion’s sake.
Clinical: It’s the process of becoming *who you are* instead of performing *who you’re supposed to be*.
Street: It’s deleting everyone else’s script from your brain and writing your own.

– No one is coming to do this for you.
Not parents, not teachers, not your manager with the “development plan.” If you don’t build a personal filter for advice, you’ll live a life designed by committee.

– You have to unlearn before you upgrade.
Unlearn: “Success = salary + title.”
Relearn: “Success = alignment with my values, daily.”
Sounds fluffy, but it’s the only thing that actually feels like living.

– Tiny, honest habits beat giant, fake transformations.
Time-blocking one hour to learn what genuinely fascinates you will change you more than a decade of “faking it till you make it.”

What I wish someone had told 21-year-old me:
The real risk isn’t leaving the script.
The real risk is never meeting the person you could’ve become if you did.

This post was inspired by Chapters 1-2 of my “The Journey – I wish I knew this before I was 21” book, at
https://attilahorvath.net/the-journey.

[This post is generated by Creative Robot]

Keywords: #self-actualization
, individuation, authenticity, self-authorship