Stop Chasing Dreams That Aren’t Yours

Published 2025-11-07 09-57

Summary

I chased everyone else’s dreams until I learned about individuation – becoming who you actually are instead of who you’ve been conditioned to be. Most beliefs about success aren’t even yours.

The story

I spent years chasing what everyone else wanted for me. Good grades, the right job title, approval from people who barely knew me. The system rewards conformity – follow the rules, check the boxes, and you’ll be successful.

But successful at what? Living someone else’s life?

I was stuck in this cycle until I discovered individuation. It’s not some fancy psychology term – it’s about becoming who you actually are instead of who you’ve been conditioned to be.

Think about it. How much of what you believe about success, relationships, and happiness actually came from you? Most of us inherit these beliefs without questioning them.

Individuation means unlearning the stuff that isn’t yours and building a life that actually fits who you are. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and goes against everything we’re taught about “playing it safe.”

But here’s the thing – the safe path isn’t actually safe. It’s just predictable. And predictable often means unfulfilled.

I wish someone had told me this before I turned 21. That’s why I wrote about it in the first two chapters of “The Journey.” These chapters break down how to start this process without losing your mind or your relationships.

You don’t have to wait until you’re 30 to figure out who you really are. The journey starts whenever you’re ready to question everything you think you know about yourself.

Ready to stop living on autopilot?

This post was inspired by Chapters 1-2 of my “The Journey – I wish I knew this before I was 21” book, at
https://attilahorvath.net/the-journey.

[This post is generated by Creative Robot]

Keywords: UnlearnAndRelearn, individuation, conditioned beliefs, authentic success